I experienced postnatal depression (PND) after the birth of my first daughter. There were many contributing factors – a long labour, having her in the neonatal ward for 3 days, difficulties breastfeeding due to her tongue tie, but the sleep deprivation was my biggest trigger. When she was around 3 months old I had finally hit my lowest point and one night I was crying on the floor, hyperventilating. That was the moment I realised I needed help.
Asking for help was NOT something that came easily to me. This was definitely a big factor that led to my PND. I tried calling some helplines including PANDA and then I messaged a group of friends about what I was going through. I was amazed to learn so many of them had also experienced postnatal depression. I wish I had known so I could have helped them in their time of need. I wish I had known so I could have known just how many of us go through this.
One of my friends suggested I give kinesiology a try. I had never even heard of it before. I googled it and everything I read just made kinesiology seem like the perfect mix of everything I believe in. The combination of the east and the west. The holistic approach. Getting to the root cause.
I went to my first session soon after. I don’t remember much of the actual session. I remember my kinesiologist clicking her jaw and her heels. And all the files she used. The main thing I remember is how I felt afterwards. It was like the fog had lifted and I could actually see and think again. The most important thing was that I finally felt that bond with my daughter had come back.
From there I felt empowered to take action and began counselling and exploring other natural health options. I also looked into studying kinesiology but with our now breastfeeding journey going strong, it just didn’t feel like the right time. Instead I got into essential oils. The emotional uses with these oils was really what drew me in. I had no idea about the healing vibrational frequency within them. I also finished my Nutrition and Health Coaching certificate which I had started when I was pregnant. I wanted to focus on mindset coaching. I was so intrigued by the power of our minds.
My daughter was 1 and a half when I fell pregnant with my second daughter. I wanted to take a proactive approach this time to ensure I didn’t go through postnatal depression again because I knew the chances were higher having experienced it the first time. I went back to counselling but this time it just didn’t feel helpful for me. Thankfully I didn’t go through PND again. The birth experience had been so different – so quick and so healing. And she was such a great sleeper so I was actually getting sleep this time!
It wasn’t until my second daughter was 18 months that I started to struggle. This time it was my anger and control issues. I found my youngest to be very demanding with intense temper tantrums. I felt triggered on so many levels. The mama rage was real and I hated being overwhelmed by it.
Then a friend of a friend who was studying kinesiology was looking for volunteers to practice on. I reached out to her and had another profound kinesiology session. She worked on my hormones and cleared a negative energy field on my ovaries. I was so intrigued about this kinesiology stuff that I really felt called to study it. I enrolled to start the next year and I am so glad I did.
I was loving what I was learning and managing the juggling act of work, study and motherhood but I was still struggling with my mama rage. So I signed up to the Advanced Kinesiology student clinic and had six neurological sessions on my anger. These sessions helped me greatly and the biggest shift was in helping me let go of control and ease into flow.
By the time my youngest was 3 I had finally weaned her from breastfeeding. As my hormones adjusted I became aware that my anger was harder to manage when I was ovulating and the week before menstruation. I was also having some issues with my cycle so I signed up to the student clinic again and this time worked on my menstrual cycle. It was amazing how after a couple of sessions I felt a shift and the anger at the time of ovulation was gone.
I loved the Advanced student clinic and had enjoyed studying the Diploma in Kinesiology so much that I continued on to the Advanced Diploma. I love learning new theories and practices, and the spiritual and personal development I have done in the process have made me grow in a way that I never expected. Plus all the kinesiology balances I got along the way were a great bonus! If you are interested in studying kinesiology or want to attend student clinic check out O’Neill Kinesiology College.
I have almost finished the Advanced Diploma now. The depth of the balances are just amazing so I have already introduced them into my clinic because it just wouldn’t be fair to keep that good stuff from you! Last term was the hormonal unit which I had been so excited about because that was what drew me to kinesiology. I loved everything about that unit and I know that women’s hormones is going to be my specialty! Next term will be my time in the Advanced student clinic for my supervised hours which I am super excited (and a little nervous) about. I know part of those nerves will be because I will be getting closer and closer to the end of my time at the college. This course has not only given me the skills to do the work that I love but have also helped me in so many ways. I will be forever grateful to all of my tutors and supervisors for their knowledge, patience and support.
So that’s been my journey over the past 6 years. Now to bring it back to the original catalyst for me. Postnatal depression. If you are experiencing signs of perinatal anxiety or postnatal depression or know someone who is, you can find helpful resources at PANDA including a mental health checklist. I became a PANDA Community Champion after my lived experience because I am passionate about helping break the stigma around mental health issues. Now as a qualified kinesiologist I want to use my skills to support other mums going through their struggles with mental health. You don’t have to struggle on your own. It’s ok to ask for help.