I recently went through a breathwork journey with an amazing woman who was completing her training in Biodynamic Breathwork. This breathwork style was very different to the other breathwork styles I had experienced. My husband had also signed up to these sessions and due to scheduling changes we ended up doing our sessions on the same call which ended up being divine guidance.
We did two sessions a week for a total of eight sessions and the depth of what was released amazed me! Jasmin was such an amazing guide and even though the sessions were online it was always like she was right there in the room with me, and often as though she was right in the experience with me. Her insights were always so helpful in piecing together what was coming up. You can read more about Jasmin and her offerings here.
My favourite aspect of the Biodynamic Breathwork style was the ‘areas of resource’. This was an area to connect to something at the beginning of each session that felt safe. This was often an area in my body and where it was, how it felt and what colour it was changed with each session. There were a couple of sessions where this resourcing was important as I came into a traumatic experience. The resourcing was a way to step back from the trauma response and feel safe to be curious about what was happening. You can read more resourcing here.
The other thing I loved about this style of breathwork was working with belts of tension. You can read more about the belts of tension here but what felt true for me was the areas aligned with each of the chakras. And each belt of tension had a different action to take – whether it was eye movements or rubbing specific areas of the body or stretching certain areas. I felt like this helped activate or gently stir what would need to be released.
I feel so much lighter after these sessions and was just amazed at how much came through from other lifetimes from the power of the breath and I’m assuming, the DMT release that comes with it. They were like mini journeys and it was amazing to have the guidance of Jasmin to be in the experience and also be able to move the body through it and step away from it when needed.
I worked through my experience with birth trauma, postnatal depression, marriage issues, fears as a child, imposter syndrome and so much more.
I journaled about most of my experience so I figured the best way to share with you what I experienced was to simply share what I journaled. Here’s my writings:
Session 1
I was experiencing a lot of shoulder pain at the time so I was happy to use breathwork for body pain. The pain travelled from my shoulder to my left hip. I made the connection that my journey this year had been about standing in my feminine after so many years of living in my masculine and now was the time to balance between them.
The pain travelled to my lower back and it was so sore rubbing there. It reminded me of labour and motherhood and all the pain and burdens on my motherhood journey including how and why I experienced postnatal depression.
I felt so tired.
Then my fingers tingled and my elbow it reminded me of the elbow pain I had from breastfeeding and carrying the girls. The it travelled back up my shoulder and made it realise how hard my shoulder has been working for the past eight years.
I felt so much love and gratitude for it and my body.
Session 2
This session was on the ocular belt and had eye exercises to do with the initial breathing. I had felt resistance before we started but when I started this eye movement I felt so uncomfortable. It made me feel so small. And scared. Like I was a kid looking at scary things. And then I had pain on my right temple and as I massaged and followed the pain I connected it to being a kid and being scared of this being I used to see outside my bedroom.
The pain moved down to my jaw and I had to stretch my mouth to get into the space and it made me think of the times I would have been scared and opened my mouth to scream but nothing would come out.
Then with the second exercise the pain was behind my head and I think my shoulder and back. I just felt yuck. It made me feel like I was covered in mud. When I stood up to moved I just wanted to shake it all off instead of continuing to just be with it. Then I felt Isis come in and like I was in a temple. Before or after this I did some upper back side to side stretched that felt so good. It really loosened my back up. Then I felt like I could finally relax. And then I felt like I was in a mud bath and it felt so good and relaxing. It was so interesting that the mud had felt so negative and then ended up feeling so beautiful! After in the integration breath I felt like I was more open to love and I felt more open in my sacral energy.
Session 4
This session was the hardest. It was linked with the heart chakra. I felt so much resistance when I had to stretch my arms out open and then bring them in to close. It was funny making the connection that it was all about letting go which I know is an issue and I was listening to the messages I have been getting about it.
Later when we had moved through a bit of it I was encouraged to charge my breath some more to see if I could uncover what the numb/void feeling I had connected to was about. I could feel tears coming.
My husband told me our youngest daughter wanted to connect to me and I was just frozen with fear, in terror. Feeling panic I had no idea what it was about and Jasmin tried to guide me to slow my breath and use my resource which was actually my hands in this session. It was actually the space between my hands which had looked like golden triangles spinning on top of each other. And when I had been rubbing my upper chest – in between my ribs – I had felt/seen pyramids.
So later with our daughter connecting through my husband the message that was passed on was that she was sorry. He would have thought this was a message about our relationship now but I knew it was about a life we had shared in Egypt. I had no idea what I experienced but I know it was painful. I felt that we had been in Egypt at the rise and fall and this experience would have been from the fall of Egypt. I understood that we have to go to Empty for healing but also for activations. I felt so tired and drained afterwards but all I know is the door was opened to something that was going to take our journey deeper.
Session 6
This session was on the sacral. At first I didn’ think anything was going to happen. I was really tired all of a sudden and couldn’t stop yawning. I think I was trying to avoid doing the work. When I did finally connect I could feel energy in my chest that was like fire and ice. I then had to rub my inner things and realise a lot of shame. And then move my spine and then I was rocking fro left to right which felt like masculine to feminine.
I was then feeling like I was giving birth but having the water birth I had wanted with my first daughter. I told Jasmin that and she said that sounded lovely and all I could think was but that’s not what happened. I felt this cold hard energy around me, outside of me. I breathed into it and eventually it melted into a pink light. I enjoyed being submerged in the water and then was taken to holding my daughter for the first time and feeling that joy and unconditional love.
I was reminded that I can create beauty. That I am a creator being. I thought back to my birthing difficulties – of babies and projects. I knew I had released the need to feel pain (from a Human Blueprint kinesiology session) so that meant the birthing of projects can be full of ear and surrender and leaning back and feeling supported.
It felt so good I could have stayed there but there was time to go again so I did and instantly I was aware of pressure on my chest and in my back. I had gone to a past life where pleasure and pain were so intertwined. It was so confusing. It felt wrong but it also felt good. I breathed through it and again released the need to feel pain and then I was taken to what pleasure could feel like in a truly safe and supportive space and this felt good.
Session 7
This session was the base chakra and lots of tribal stuff came up, and lots of confusion. I was first taken to the life when I had been sacrificed to the sun god (who happened to be my husband in a previous lifetime). I was feeling tethered at my core. It felt like a mix of feeling tethered to the contract that had been in place, to feeling like I was trying to escape my body and the pain of being burned alive. But even that I question. It felt good to release the tether and let go of resentment from over the years and seeing how he has been the grounding force for me this year while I explored my multidimensionality.
Then later I felt pain in my back and felt like it was connected to having to allow myself to receive support and having to soften and surrender for that to happen. And again letting go of resentment because I hadn’t felt supported by my husband in the way that I had wanted. Then I felt pain in my coccyx and this was related to a past life where I was in a battle after walking for days. I was trampled and my pelvis was crushed and then my back and then my head. I felt so passionate about fighting in this battle that I hadn’t even considered dying such a painful death.
I felt myself expand and felt like I was going to the Arcturian war and discovering what caused my PTSD but a sound pulled me back. Then I felt swirling energy in my back. It was less chaotic than before but there was this extreme polarity I knew I had experienced. I knew I had experienced many lives to experience the extremes of both sides.
I felt like all my shadow work was done and I felt myself connected to lives when I had been a medicine woman, someone connected to the land and the ancestors, a priestess. I felt so much love pour into me and radiate out of me. I was beaming love and knew this was all about the return to love and again about the Divine Union. I felt so peaceful and blissful.
Session 8
My final breathwork session with Jasmin happened to also be on my 40th birthday. Another example of divine guidance! When I connected to my resource I felt wings grow out of my back. Dragon wings. Then when we started to charge our breath I felt a void at first and then energy pooling in my third eye. When I massaged the area I noticed I like the dark. That I NEEDED the dark I tried covering my eyes but it wasn’t dark enough. I tried closing the curtains and covering my eyes but still not dark enough. I was thinking about looking for my eye mask but then realised this was that search for the next thing.
So I just accepted it and then in my mind’s eye I saw an orb of light – glowing orange and moving quickly, then it slowed down ad changed colour to a dark violet blue. Then I realised I a dragon in an egg and had to crack the egg open. Then I saw myself learning to fly and how much work that took. It was fun and exciting each time I was in the air and then the disappointment when I hit the ground again (which was oh so symbolic of so much of my life!). Then I saw me learning to breath fire and how that took practice. Then I saw myself in full strength just flying effortlessly and just enjoying my energy and what I could do. It made me think of imposter syndrome and how no-one would question a dragon. It just holds its magical energy/life force and that’s what I should be doing.
Then my actual legs felt fused together and I realised it was my dragon tail and then I realised I was trapped. At first I thought someone had trapped me but it ended up being that I was trapped under rocks. I was wriggling my body and trying to get out. There was so much panic. And then I was so tired I had to give up. And the sadness at leaving everyone behind. Jasmin helped me by brining me back to the safety of my actual body whilst still being with the dragon. I was stroking her head to comfort her and let her know she wasn’t alone, and that she was loved. She was such a magical force of nature and it just seemed ironic that a force of nature (or natural accident happen to take her out).
Later I saw a crack in the earth and her body return to the earth. It was bitter sweet. A return to the earth. I understood it was Lemuria and the earthquakes were part of the downfall. In the integration afterwards I saw the Galápagos Islands and felt like either my dragon self was buried beneath there or that had been the area I had died.
Reflections
I really wish I had journaled each session because I can’t remember what else came up in the other sessions. But obviously I wrote about the BIG sessions, which you can see there was a LOT of big sessions!
I am so grateful to Jasmin and her guidance over these sessions. The best thing was just being so open and sharing what I was experiencing knowing she could take it all in and help me move to the next level.
So many of us are awakening to our multidimensionality and with that comes the interesting insights we receive that can make us feel like we are crazy or weird. It is time to embrace all of that. And if I had not of gone through this experience I wouldn’t have reached a deeper understanding of my relationships with my daughters and my husband (I feel a book will be born out of this). There was so much healing, clarity and activations that came from this experience.
The most beautiful thing is my dragon awakening. I have so much to share about this, including insights from plant medicine, but the biggest thing is truly stepping into it. And that is where my Chakra Clearing series comes in. Because I see the expanded view across all the dimensions of the chakras and all that we have access to. But we have so much to clear from this lifetime, our ancestors and other lifetimes as well as the programming that has come into play on this dualistic plane. We need to clear all of this to actually be free to receive these cosmic energies into us, free from any distortions. The dragons are waking up, the creators are waking up and that is us on an omni-dimensional level. And we are rising up from the inside of all that we have created. Ready to fix where we went wrong and liberate ourselves from the ties that bind us.